A Leprechaun and 2 Henchmen walk into a mini-mall Army Recruiting center...

 

LEPRECHAUN: Good day, your honor. I'm in need of some assistance.

 

RECRUITER: Uhh,.. OK. What is it.

 

LEP: You see, lad, there's this fellow. More of a scoundrel really. Owes me a tad bit. Seems you have him now, and I'll be needing him back.

 

REC: I'm not,... Um,... What now?

 

LEP: Just fiddle with that pewtery thingy there and dash of his whereabouts on a scrap of paper for me, and we'll be on our way in the blink of an eye, we will.

 

REC: Mister, I'm not sure...

 

LEP: Name's Seamus. But you needn't bother with me. I do need you to find that scoundrel.

 

REC: What scoundrel?

 

LEP: There we go now! I knew you'd come around. He goes by Jackson, but to hear it told, he's a might spooked, so he probably changed his name when he came in.

 

REC: Came in? You're looking for someone who enlisted?

 

LEP: Ha-Haaa! You're into the hunt now, lad! Get's the blood rushing, doesn't it now. Ahhh, nothing like the chase. So where is he now?

 

REC: Well, I don't know if I can just,...

 

LEP: Careful me boy. There be 2 ways about this, to be sure to be sure, the pat or the paddle. No one that I recall has preferred the paddle. Though a fair number have got it, eh Susan! (He nudged the henchman to the left, who nodded.)

 

REC: Susan?

 

LEP: Short for Black-Eyed-Susan.

 

REC: So is the other one crab grass, or something?

 

LEP: No, that's Daisy. Don't concern yourself. Ye jest need to be handing me over where we can find our boy, Jackson, or whoever he be now... (Slowly, tapping his walking stick in time on the floor)... Pat. Pat. Pat.

 

REC: I don't think I like y...

 

LEP: Paddle it is then, Daisy!!! (Daisy and Susan rush past the Leprechaun and instantly spirit the Recruiter out a rear door, which slams behind muffling a din that

continues as the Leprechaun sits down at the computer and begins gingerly tapping keys.)

 

LEP: Let's see now... Control... Alt... Money.

 

(With a tap of his walking stick on the monitor, a handful of gold coins pour out of the printer along with a sheet with an address on it. He steps over to it with a spring and calls his boys. The commotion has subsided. Henchmen return.)

 

LEP: Off we go lads! It appears they send them all here to start with. Let's go and see if we can find our lucky clover in this patch of olive green.

 

- Mensa Flav

 

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