Sweet Home Alabama - Lynryd Skynryd Look, we all loved it at some point in our lives. It's an amazing piece of music. It's been the title of a movie, inspired countless musicians and defined an entire genre of music. But for the love of God, if they play it one more time on the frickin' radio I'm gonna set fire to a pet store. Seriously. It's over. When this song comes on the radio, all I hear is Ronnie Van Zant getting fatter. Please, knock it off.
It Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Let's have a heart to heart here. Kurt Cobain. Tragic Hero? Over-rated white trash lead singer of a marginally-ok grunge band? I'm not here to judge. I'm just here to say pleeeeeeeease stop playing this song. For Pete's sake (really, think of Pete), we've all heard it thousands of times and it never got any better. While you're at it, don't play any more Nirvana. The same 6 songs have been clobbering our beleagured radios for almost 20 years now. This music doesn't remind me of great memories from the 90's, it reminds me of Tuesday.
When I Come Around - Green Day
Really? You let music execs push you around and this is what you get. Look, I'm not saying that my opinion is right, but this song suuu-uhh-uhhh-uh-ucks!!!! I didn't like it when it came out, and now I hate it like fat kids hate locker rooms. Get it off the f-ing radio.
The World I Know - Collective Soul
If you like this song, go punch yourself in the face.
New Years Day - U2
Who doesn't like U2, right? What's not to love. Compassionate lead singer, follow up albums that didn't suck, music that brings generations together, you get it. Of all the great U2 music there is play, what force made rock stations ride this once cool song into oblivion? I've heard it so much that it doesn't even sound like music anymore. It's taken on a sound identity on par with ringing telephones, passing cars and noisy air conditioners. Almost white noise. If we didn't hear it for the next 20 years, it might turn back into music.
I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick
From the moment I hear Robin Zander say "I want you, to want, me" I go diving for the radio buttons like a lesbian dives for, well... I dont even know why I can't stand this song, but it pops up on the radio so much that I don't need a reason. I just know it makes me uncomfortable in the same way that Broadway musicals do. Yick..
Gotta Get Away - The Offspring
Hey guys! Guess what? It's over. Stop it. Who is funding this crap factory?? I don't understand. These guys are still coming out with new music. It ALL sounds bad. Why the bad music? I must apologize for my contempt of this band. I've heard interviews. They sound like nice enough people. I blame the system that perpetuates this kind of thing. Please, you're only encouraging them...
I don't even need to name a song here. We deserve answers. This music has got be a health violation somewhere. I'm gonna call Erin Brockovich and her big ol' boobies to help stop Nickleback from causing ear cancer.
Sorry you had to hear all that..
-by Uncle Wrunkle